Research suggests that the majority of our teachers believe that the “ideal student” is an extrovert. Which is extraordinary, when you consider how many of our greatest thinkers were introverts. Charles Darwin, Albert Einstein, George Orwell, Steven Spielberg, Larry Page, J.K. Rowling: none of them would have made “ideal students.”

Let’s take a minute and think about what September looks like for most kids:
1. It’s the start of a new school year. We drop them off for a week straight wherein most of them don’t find out who their teacher or classmates are going to be until the next week.
2. New sport teams and possible tryouts
3. New bus drivers, new Administrators, new daycare providers etc…
4. Predators in the school yard…what?
That’s right…I dropped off my daughter the other morning and was greeted by another parent with the warning off…beware, there was a bear sighting this morning!

I really noticed the build up this year as the end of summer rolled around. My kids were faced with the question “Are you excited for school” at least 4 times a day.

For most, the new school year isn’t a big event. For others, this NEW start can be overwhelming! Keep this in mind and get your kids talking about how they are feeling. The best thing you can do is model how you take on new events. With outloud dialogue, let your kids know that you find it helpful to:

*breathe
*count to ten
*go for walks
*massage your cheekbones (i.e. kids can build up a lot of tension in their jaw bones especially if they are nail biters or teeth clenchers in the night)
*drink lots of water
*rehearse internal positive mantra “September is always crazy, go with the flow…”

Something to keep in mind: Experts estimate that up to 75% of all medical disorders are directly influenced by stress.

Nothing is going to go in from an intellectual standpoint if your kid is stressed out…fill up their buckets everyday before they head out the door!

I grew up in a house where there were weekly expectations around chores. I think this taught me how to clean properly. My mom wouldn’t let go until the job met her standards! Believe me I tried to complete as quickly as I could so that I could do what I wanted to do. This created quite the power struggle; however, I do believe the process taught me how to clean.

I am asked this question a lot so I have given it a lot of thought. The goal of the exercise is for your kids to reach the end stage of “How can I help you?” If you are bringing the groceries in, you want your kids to naturally grab a bag on the way in without the request. If you are getting ready to make dinner, your son is getting the forks out. If you are steam cleaning the floors, your daughter says “Can I do that”.

All fine and dandy, but how do you get there?
It’s about setting up a climate of expectations in the house. Here are some simple guidelines to help you get there:

1. We are a team and everyone needs to help
2. It’s not fair for one person to do all the work
3. When your kid asks you to play soccer outside, answer back with…I can play once all of this laundry is put away. It will go a lot faster if we all pitch in.
4. Routine, Routine, Routine
i.e. When your laundry basket is full, you need to bring it down to the laundry room. When I put your clothes in a pile on your bed, it’s your job to put them away.
5. Rewards
The biggest hint of all is to Reward any spontaneous helping. If your kid says “I’ll set the table” without you asking…make a huge deal of it.
Good Luck

P.S. Here’s a handy chart for age appropriate chores

Fine motor skills are our ability to use our fingers, hands, and arms together to reach, grasp, manipulate small objects and use tools like forks, spoons, crayons and scissors. The coordination of Fine Motor Skills and integration with our abilities enable us to learn complex skills like fastening buttons and zippers, eating with a fork and knife, and printing, handwriting, typing and cutting.

The building of fine motor skills in children will enable them to perform a variety of important functional tasks. These include:
-tying shoes
-zipping and unzipping
- buckling and unbuckling
- writing legibly and without significant muscle fatigue
-playing games that require precise hand and finger control
-drawing, painting, and coloring
-manipulating buttons and snaps
-putting small objects together
-doing puzzles
-making crafts
-using scissors
-manipulating small objects such as coins
-opening and closing objects
-picking up and holding onto small objects
-developing and maintaining an effective and proper pencil grip
-pinching objects between fingers
-using locks and keys
-being able to isolate finger movements (i.e., using one finger at a time, such as in playing the piano or typing)
-turning things over or turning pages of a book
-holding and using utensils properly and effectively
-screwing and unscrewing
and doing ANYTHING that requires small precise hand and finger movements

I’ve been in the classroom and witnessed first hand how frustrating it can be to not be able to keep up to these demands. Fine motor simply means the use our fine also known as intrinsic muscles in our fingers. Kids can start developing these muscles early on.

Therapro.com has a great list of activities to work from. The key is to have fun while helping your child master and develop their little muscles.

The school district I worked in started developing tool kits for teachers to make use of in order to target groups of Kindergarten kids who entered school with very weak and underdeveloped fine motor muscles. You can do the same at home.

When it comes to writing, the key is to start with the larger muscle movements that incorporate all of the upper body muscles, i.e. drawing large circles on an upright easel, then to work your way down to finer muscle movements.

One important thing, do not try to change your child’s writing grasp pattern unless it is causing the writing to be hard to read or unless your child fatigues quickly while writing. Many children and adults use grasp patterns that are not a tripod grasp, but do not have writing deficits. Changing the grasp pattern may cause the person to have writing difficulties.

Please let me know what you think or write and share some of your ideas…

It’s extremely important to reinforce good behaviour immediately as this will increase the odds of that good behaviour continuing to happen. However, relating good behaviour to food, also reinforces an emotional connection that may lead to future bad habits. I did good, therefore, I get a food reward. It’s like saying “You need to eat healthy foods to feel and do your best, but when you behave or perform your best, you will be rewarded with unhealthy food.”

I think it’s really important to teach kids that we eat food as a source of energy, and yes, there are of course delicious treats involved in that process.

Research clearly demonstrates that healthy kids learn better. I used to be so choked when I would observe kids with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder on ritalin eat a lunch filled with sweets.
Pretty counterproductive….

You want to be working towards concrete rewards such as time at the park, a walk after dinner with the family, two books before bed etc…

Here’s five reasons for not using food as a reward:
1) compromises learning
2) contributes to poor health
3) encourages overconsumption of unhealthy foods
4) contributes to poor eating habits
5) increases preference for sweets

I’d love to hear from you, let me know what you think.

After years of working with kids and getting them to learn their letter sounds, otherwise termed phonics. Here’s a website worth taking a look at. www.starfall.com

Once your child knows their letter sounds, encourage them to go ahead and write out cards, grocery lists and email using their sounds. You’ll be amazed what they come up with!

So here’s a simple strategy I like to call “zone defence”. Kids are also great at knowing their parent’s proximity at all times. The first step is to make a clear request, ensuring you have their full attention. The best way to ensure they have received the message is to make eye contact, relay the message and then have them repeat it back to you.
Now the ball is in their court. So here’s how your request should sound,
“Sarah, I need you to put your shoes on”. The basic rule of thumb is that kids can retain up to 1 request per grade level. So if your daughter or son is in grade two, you’d be able to make two consecutive requests. For example “Sarah, I need you to put your shoes on and pick out a fruit for your snack”.
Once you’ve made a clear request, go about getting yourself ready and out the door. It will only take a few minutes before your kids realize, hey, where did mom or dad go? This teaches the kids, that you are only going to make a request once. It’s a great exercise you’ll probably have to repeat at the beginning of every week. It’s pretty easy to fall back to repeating yourself.

But, it does become a little concerning when you try and teach him something new and he gives you silly answers or rolls and runs away. So, I gave it some thought and realized I was going about teaching him his colours the same way I had taught my daughter. Very direct and explicit….I would point to clothes, pictures in books and food and tell her the colors and eventually she just got it. What is wrong with him, is he colour blind I thought to myself?

Then it dawned on me….what do you do when a child is not grasping a concept in the school system? You think of their interests and passions and tackle the concept that way. So, the good Canadian boy that my son is just happens to be obsessed with Hockey. I use the words obsessed lightly. He goes to sleep with his hockey stick and kisses his puck goodnight. He has even gotten up in the morning with stick crease marks across his chest.

Well, needless to say, I woke up this morning with a superb surprise. My son was quietly flipping through an old coffee table book we’ve had for years about Hockey that I broke out for him to look at. He has all of sudden taken an interest in books, colours, counting and numbers. Pretty exciting stuff.

I’ve just discovered an educational tool worth a mention. Discovery Toys has a Busy Bugs Learning Set, that is a must have if you are trying to teach early math concepts such as patterning, colors, counting, sorting etc…
There are 14 double sided cards that a child can work progressively through, plus you can use your imagination and make up your own activities. A really fun way to get kids to learn using an interactive set of squishy bugs.

Please chime in with your own experiences with kids and avoidance behaviour…